Listlessness

I feel listless. I've not felt like this for a while. Maybe its the thought of death that's the cause. I don't know. And I don't want to introspect - there're too many synapses to fire up. And discard.
And what of death? Is it the end? Or the beginning?
End of what? Beginning of what?

Paraphrasing Dylan Thomas:
I refuse to go quiet into the night;
I refuse to go out like a light;
I will rail against the light;
I will rail with all my might

Sigh.

Human Again

A friend died in Beijing last Sunday, March 12. I felt numb when I heard the news. In this age of virtual relationships, and where friends are separated by vast distances, I found it hard to connect again - human to human, emotion over electronics, compassion over cyber-passion.

I felt ambivalent - how should I have felt? How do I react? What's the right emotion? Has the virtual environment severed or numbed our human emotions? Do we ever feel anything anymore?

I don't know; maybe it's just me wondering why I've become so detached.
I hope that when I finally turn up at her wake, I will know what it is like to reconnect as a human being, to feel my deep loss, to mourn with her family, grief with my friends, and feel human all over again.